Giving Tuesday – Consider Giving Some Time to an Isolated Elder

Make the Connection!

Today is Colorado Gives Day!

Otherwise known as Giving Tuesday, the day designed to spotlight opportunities for people to give to charitable causes.  The day seems to have come into existence when two organizations, the 92nd Street Y in New York City and the United Nations Foundation came together in October 2012, with the intention to set aside a day that was all about celebrating the generosity of giving, a great American tradition.   According to USA Today, Giving Tuesday raised $180 million in online donations.  That is nothing to sneeze at!

Donating Locally is Easy!

Here in Colorado, we’ve got our own website with over 2,000 nonprofits listed to receive donor’s contributions.  You can visit the website and find a good place for your donation to support if you’re at a loss about which type of charity you’d like to benefit.

Instead of highlighting the worthy nonprofits which serve low-income elders, I’m looking at Colorado Gives Day with a different goal in mind – to raise awareness about reaching out to socially isolated elders in our communities.  I’m not just talking about making contact with folks who reside in senior housing residences, assisted living or skilled nursing facilities, but also to those elders who are “gaining in place” in their own homes and face considerable social isolation based on a number of factors.

What About Donating Your Time?

One way to ease an isolated elder’s isolation and also solidify our own connections with community members we might never have otherwise met – is to volunteer our time – even if for a few short minutes or hours.

You can easily volunteer your time locally through a nonprofit like Metro Volunteers, who will match your skills with a nonprofit looking for someone with your skills.  Whether it is a board of directors position you seek, a mentoring opportunity with a youth, or serving food to people at a shelter – Metro Volunteers can assist.

But the focus of today’s post is about giving time to an elder who is isolated.

There are numerous article and research into the effects of loneliness on the elderly population.  One recent study concluded that loneliness is a significant public health concern among elders.  In addition to easing a potential source of suffering, the identification and targeting of interventions for lonely elders may significantly decrease physician visits and health care costs.

Decreasing an Elder’s Sense of Isolation Helps Prevent Elder Abuse

I’m reposting a link from an elder abuse prevention listserve I am part of, originally posted this morning by the Social Media Manager of the NYC Elder Abuse Center at Weill Cornell Medical College.  The holidays are difficult times for many of us.  She writes “During the holiday season, family gatherings are more commonplace. Older adults feel social isolation more acutely, yet crave the connection. This holiday season NYCEAC is asking our social media followers to commit to have a conversation with an older adult in their life during the month of December. We know everyone benefits from a connection, and improves the health of the community at large, too.” We’re calling our campaign Countering Isolation, or #CounteringIsolation.

Remember that this type of giving of our time to another who doesn’t have the physical, psychological, financial or emotional wherewithal to engage in the broader community is a good thing with many positive benefits for us,  Happy Giving Tuesday!

© Barbara E. Cashman 2017   www.DenverElderLaw.org

The Perils of Elderhood: Retirement Insecurity

Florentine graffiti… what me worry?

The road to elderhood, a successful elderhood at least – relies upon a foundation built on experience.  The experiences of this “newness” to one’s old age or elderhood, implies that in the second half of one’s life we can utilize our experiences of trauma, grief and pain which we all experience in the first half of life and translate them into our own personal form of resilience.  Well, that might be a goal at least.  How many of us get evaluated or graded upon these kinds of things? Hmmm, not many – particularly when many of us who have reached that “certain age” as the French call it, care less about what others might think of us. Retirement insecurity can take on many characteristics including depression due to a lack of a purpose to get out of bed or a place to go, not knowing where we “fit in” in the new world of retirement, determining where we want to live if our grandchildren are far away, and so on.

Change Typically Makes Us Feel Insecure

So, can this story of one’s elderhood be a “new” story for us?  I think the answer is a resounding “yes” – this notwithstanding my lack of reference to a single “self-help” book! Acknowledging the hurts and harms we sustained in the past and being with them to the extent that we neither deny their existence nor do we fixate on trying to heal those hurts.  Maturity here calls forth both a degree of necessary resilience as well as a certain perspective taking which is not “all about us.”  The funny thing about time and our relationship to it is that we are always able to remake and retool that relationship.  I think about the oft-used saying that it is “never too late to have a happy childhood.”

We Can Plan For Some Semblance of Security and Adjust Our Expectations

I will use the quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupery (author of the beloved story The Little Prince) on this topic:

The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.

The number of boomers inching into retirement continues to rise, this notwithstanding the changes and insecurity that retirement brings.  I have heard many people say that they can’t afford to retire and they will just keep working. . . but this is often realistic because it ignores some of the challenges that come with aging and assumes that there will be a job or some form of suitable employment.  Here’s a recent Washington Post article about financial insecurity in retirement.

As the U.S. government Accountability Office recently observed in a report – financial insecurity is trending.  I’m not quite sure what that means – but I don’t think it’s a good thing!  Section four of the GAO’s 173-page report examines the need to re-evaluate the nation’s approach to financing retirement.  It notes:

Over the past 40 years, the nation has sought to address the issues facing the U.S. retirement system in a piecemeal fashion. This approach may not be able to effectively address the interrelated nature of the challenges facing the system today. Fundamental economic changes have occurred, as well as the shift from DB to DC plans, with important consequences for the system. Further, it has been nearly 40 years since a federal commission has conducted a comprehensive evaluation of the nation’s approach to financing retirement. A panel of retirement experts convened by GAO in November 2016 agreed that there is a need for a new comprehensive evaluation. The experiences of other countries can also provide useful insights for ways to improve the system.

There are numerous articles about the failed IRA and 401(k) experiments as a replacement for defined benefit (DB) plans, a/k/a pensions, but I will steer clear of those.  These plans have encouraged Americans to save for their retirement, but about half of Americans aged 55 or older have NO retirement savings in an IRA or 401(k).  But here is a link to a Forbes article which disputes the dire findings of the GAO report for its failure to account for valuable pensions.

It’s Not Too Late to Plan for Or Scrutinize Our Retirement Budget Expectations

So, retirement saving and planning is both an individual and a collective phenomenon, that’s nothing new – but what about those factors affecting the sufficiency of our retirement income based on our savings, pension and social security income?  How much money will we need in retirement? The answer is, of course – it depends!

The single biggest expense that faces Americans in retirement is health care and it is under attack once again, this time in the form of tax legislation which the Congress is still working on, but the handwriting was on the wall for Medicare when the 2018 budget was recently unveiled.   We still don’t have any details about the tax package.

How Many Elders Will Be Able to Afford Medicare Coverage in the Coming Years?

Here is a 10/27/17 article from the Kaiser Family Foundation which examines how the loss of the ACA’s Cost-Sharing Payments will affect insurance premiums in 2018.  While the costs of health care in retirement remain largely uncertain and unknown for most of us, an article from last summer estimated that health care will cost couples $275,000 in retirement.  Wow!  What happens to those elders who can’t afford the Medicare premiums, co-pays and deductibles?

It is extremely difficult to anticipate how much coverage will be left in Medicare as well as how much it will cost in premiums. Here is a link to the 10/26/17 AARP’s  “Premium Support is the Wrong Direction for Medicare: Highlights from a New Research Report.”  The Urban Institute’s 10/26/17 Report, on which the criticisms of restructuring Medicare premium support is based, is available here.  The conclusions include several areas of concern around the effects of premium supports, which they conclude would drive up premiums, making better plans much less affordable, along with the prospect that in some areas, private plans may no longer be available.    These effects would not lead to any increase in choice, but would lead to homelessness and hardship among elders, as one source reported only a few days ago.

Perhaps elders still have some voice in stating preferences about how they will be affected by changes to Medicare. . . .

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

Dreaming Into Retirement Planning

Dreamtime Batik

I recently ran across an article by financial “coach” Chris Hogan  about the importance of having a dream to inspire us to plan for and to carry out our plan for retirement.

Hogan’s tactic is to motivate, not intimidate or strike fear. His book “Retire Inspired: It’s Not an Age, It’s a Financial Number” and if you’re interested in listening to one of his podcasts, here’s a link to that.

I liked this idea and of course it wasn’t new.  I thought of Richard Leider, the author who penned the book “Life Reimagined” in 2013 and has championed risk-taking for folks over 50 while cautioning us against being a “former” anything in retirement.  You can watch his Ted x talk about the importance of finding your purpose, particularly to motivate retired people to get out of bed in the morning.

Can we dream into our purpose when we are facing retirement?

Dreaming can, at any time or stage of our lives, help us find our place in the world and to help identify the challenges which face us.   Dreams can help us construct our own personal mythology, our story in terms of what we are here to do and how we are meant to be in this world.

I suppose it depends on how you define “dreaming “of course  – and whether we work on the dreams or they work on us.  I am rather fond of Dr. Jung’s quote from Dreams, Memories, Reflections, which he wrote when he was eighty-one:

Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakes.

It’s a rather slippery slope, isn’t it?  Particularly for us Americans who have always felt so strongly about being in charge of our lives.  We who know such boundaries and demarcations flowing from our sense of autonomy. Retirement forces us to think differently about what we do with the rest of our lives.  We often thing about this as a sad, backward gaze, held and nurtured for its lost glory.  But it can be a time for us to lighten our load of our thinking about our lives and about its doings.  Perhaps it can be liberation.

Leider talks about the three “M’s” of money, medicine (health) and meaning – the fundamental things that help us identify what we really need so we can be free to leave behind the other things that may simply distract us.

I think for many of us the fear of retirement, and why we are loath to plan for it, is that we don’t want to allow ourselves the space to dream because, well, it might not be what we think we “always wanted” or what was expected of us.  I think it also has a lot to do with our fear of aging in general as the run up to the inevitable end of our lives.

So what to do in the meantime?

Start dreaming, particularly your own dream, not someone else’s!  And if you don’t want to dream because it sounds too silly, then take Leider’s napkin test and see if you can pull that off!  Get together with a loved one or colleague and take “the napkin test” to discover what is really important to you, what gives you joy and allows you to feel connected to others.  Stop and reflect.  You can watch (on Daniel Pink’s website) a one minute and twenty second video featuring Leider explaining how to do this

I’ve condensed a bit of Hogan’s advice here from that Washington Post article above:

  • A secure retirement isn’t accidental;
  • Dream your dream and make a plan that will get you to that dream;
  • Execute the plan with a commitment to do what is necessary to bring it to fruition.

Lastly, here is another article by Hogan about  What do you need to do to retire with $1 million?

Happy dreaming!

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

The Eclipse and the End of Life As We Know It

True Illusion

The eclipse that is set to occur on Monday, August 21, 2017 is a big deal. I have several friends who are traveling to get a better view of this event.  One couple I know is going to Fort Laramie, Wyoming and other friends to McCook, Nebraska.  Here’s a handy map that shows the strip of total eclipse. Based on my research, the last coast to coast eclipse in the US was ninety-nine years ago.  I remember seeing a partial eclipse in Denver almost thirty years ago.  It was pretty cool.  So, if you want to “prepare” for this eclipse, go to this link on the NASA website.  After all, it’s set to last for nearly three hours, reaching its maximum at 11:47 a.m. in my neck of the woods.

So what is it about the eclipse that would cause me to couple it with. . . the end of life?!  Well, here goes.

The word eclipse comes from the Greek ekleipsis, which means abandonment, cessation, failing, omission or flaw.

But remember that the eclipse merely obscures the sun from our sight – the moon appearing before the sun to block it does not extinguish the sun, but from our eyesight-based superficial understanding of what we think we see. . . . well, what’s the difference?

It’s a matter of vision, not eyesight.

Perhaps we eclipse-seekers are simply in search of awe, what some of our forebears would call miracles. Where should we search – in the familiar places or the unfamiliar, even uncomfortable ones? That’s hard to say. Few of us look for that awe in the mundane and everyday, but that is almost always where it seems to be found, discovered, seen.

This awe can cause a cognitive shift in our awareness, as in the “overview effect.” The term was first coined by Frank White in his 1987 book The Overview Effect — Space Exploration and Human Evolution and is described in this Wikipedia entry as

the experience of seeing firsthand the reality of the Earth in space, which is immediately understood to be a tiny, fragile ball of life, “hanging in the void”, shielded and nourished by a paper-thin atmosphere. From space, national boundaries vanish, the conflicts that divide people become less important, and the need to create a planetary society with the united will to protect this “pale blue dot” becomes both obvious and imperative.

It strikes me that this eclipse, and its draw to our experience of life, is not unlike the awe at the end of life. The drawing and that movement is perhaps generated in different directions so to speak. We can “attend” the eclipse and experience it in ways we enjoy, but the end of our life demands a different kind of presence – one no less awe-some, one that we may think we are not quite ready to experience.

In his book Places of the Heart: The Psychogeography of Everyday Life, Colin Ellard looks at places of awe.  At 154 of the book he looks at research into experiences of awe which focus on two essential aspects: a feeling of vastness and a sense of accommodation.  Vastness is the feeling of hugeness and grandeur, while accommodation describes our response to what created the feeling.  Ellard notes this often involves contradiction. An excellent article on awe (and its self-diminishing aspects) and prosocial behavior can be found here.

What is the inevitable here? We can easily face and even celebrate the inevitable when it is. . . . not too close and personal!  But what of dying and how can we recognize it as it approaches and obscures our sight ? Most of us don’t want to see death coming, so we turn away!

When people refuse to have the conversation about dying and its uncertain circumstances, to name or appoint someone to speak for them in the event they are unable to do so on their own, well – then the doctors will decide for you.  Here’s an interview with Dr. Jessica Zitter, ICU and palliative care doc and author of Extreme Measure, a book about the ethics of end of life medicine. Thanks for sharing that with me Georgine!

So maybe there is some preparing we can do for the eclipse(s) of our life. . . .   I think these Buddhist sayings (dhammas) sum up this essential changeable quality of our nature and that of the cosmos most succinctly:

I am of the nature to decay, I have not gone beyond decay.
I am of the nature to be diseased, I have not gone beyond disease.
I am of the nature to die, I have not gone beyond death.
All that is mine, dear and delightful, will change and vanish.

It’s a hard place to just be, to be with the uncertainty – will there be a sun that returns after the moon passes over it completely?

The eclipse of –  disease, misfortune, old age, fear of change, death.

Perhaps we can see this eclipse opportunity as an invitation, a path, to assist us in recalling how to revere, to feel deep respect or awe for something, for our relationship with the world and with each other.  In this respect, we remember reverence through nature – our nature – not outside, but inside each of us.

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

World Elder Abuse Awareness Day, June 15, 2017

Face on the Rock of Cashel

This isn’t my first post about World Elder Abuse Awareness Day or WEAAD for short. It’s an annual post for me on this day – last year I looked at the “international” part of WEAAD, as well as the national (federal) focus.  This year I will focus on a local aspect – as in Colorado law that can be used to stop an abuser straightaway.

First let’s revisit the basics of what can constitute elder abuse – keeping in mind that each state has its own set of laws addressing this matter, as does the federal government.  This lack of a common definition is part of the challenge in reporting elder abuse and identifying the numbers of elders involved.  But I think the biggest challenge remains in recognizing that elder abuse is a problem that affects our society, not just individuals taken advantage of by strangers or harmed by their loved ones because they are perceived as old, of little value to society, or as an impediment to an heir’s inheritance…

While there is an unfortunate variety of types of elder abuse – elder abuse generally includes:

Mistreatment – this is the preferred term for the American Society of Aging, which is offering a course on mistreatment as comprising abuse and neglect;

Abuse of a financial nature/exploitation – this includes the unauthorized or illegal use of or access to an elder’s financial resources that covers a range of activities such as theft, undue influence, deception or fraud, misrepresentation or coercion;

Abuse of physical nature – this includes violence of a physical nature, including slapping, hitting, restraining or confining an elder, overmedicating or giving improper medication;

Abuse of sexual nature – includes a caregiver forcing an elder to watch or participate in sexual acts;

Abuse of psychological or emotional nature – can be very subtle when employed by a manipulative or cunning family member or care provider;

Neglect of an elder can occur when a caregiver fails to actively or passively fulfill the role of caregiver (paid attendant or unpaid family member) or when an elder self-neglects.

The Adult Protection Services – APS for short – is part of the Colorado Department of Human Services and they have broken their page into four basic categories: caretaker neglect; exploitation; physical or sexual abuse; and self-neglect.  But this offers a very broad brush approach of what to report!

There are other options available in addition to simply reporting suspected mistreatment, abuse or neglect.  One of these involves getting immediate and direct protection against an abuser by means of obtaining a civil protection order.  A civil protection order proceeding is in county court and is available to persons who elders (and at risk adults, those who have developmental disabilities or some other cognitive impairment) who are victims of abuse to prevent further contact by the alleged perpetrator of the abuse.  Read more about the instructions and forms available on the Colorado State judicial website here.

The JDF 402 form for a complaint or motion for civil protection order specifically lists “abuse of the elderly or at-risk adult,” and cites Colo. Rev. Stat. §26-3.1-101(1) and (7).  That latter section of the statute, which is the definitional portion of the “protective services for at-risk adults,” provides

(7) “Mistreatment” means:

                (a) Abuse;

                (b) Caretaker neglect;

                (c) Exploitation;

                (d) An act or omission that threatens the health, safety, or welfare of an at-risk adult; or

                (e) An act or omission that exposes an at-risk adult to a situation or condition that poses an imminent risk of bodily injury to the at-risk adult.

You can see that there is astatutory provision for mistreatment that comprises abuse in our state.  The term is broad and necessarily so.  Remember that the statistics used by the National Council on Aging indicate that elders who have suffered abuse have a 300% higher risk of death as compared to those who have not been mistreated.

The take-away for this post is that there is an immediately available remedy to stop the mistreatment of elders in the form of a civil protection order.  The county courts have the forms available and magistrates or judicial officers to review the complaints or motions for such relief against an abuser respond quickly.

For elders who are suffering mistreatment at the hands of an abuser, a civil protection order can prevent further harm and help to safeguard the elder’s health.  I believe that raising awareness of available remedies to stop further abuse of elders is an important step toward realizing the goals of WEAAD.

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org