Welcome to My Blog

I have a new logo, and I’m pleased to say that the day I purchased it and printed it out, I was able to ask a client what he thought about it, and he immediately recognized it as a tree and made the “tree of life” connection. Yes, that’s the tree I’m talking about! My logo is a tree that also looks like a person who is embracing a community. I think this is particularly relevant to what I do because I work to help my clients put together a holistic plan for their future – one that is consistent with the values a person has lived by and which honors the relationships with family and community members. Holistic planning can also involve peacemaking. The tree of life connection is especially meaningful to me because it symbolizes the transitory nature of our lives and the relationships, in the context of certain unchanging constants. The tree of life symbolizes a simple message of unity, that we are all part of a community and it is represented in a number of different cultures, myths, faiths and traditions across time and geography. It is an important symbol for my practice philosophy because I seek to assist my clients in identifying ways they can maximize the support and connections they need from others during their lives and so they can transmit their legacy after they are gone.

I mention the Tree of Life specifically on my blog page because my blog is the place where the diverse but related interests will converge. We have never before had so many 80 and 90 year-olds on the face of the earth. What are the implications for law, ethics, medicine, philosophy? These are all appropriate aspects of identifying a strategy for clients because a sound plan must take into account the “ripple effect” of individual actions that relate to financial, emotional, medical and physical considerations that are often relevant in the legal context.

 

What Might Guardianship Reform Look Like?

Sienese Sculpture

 

What would a change in our guardianship law in Colorado mean?  Well, that depends! In my previous post about guardianship reform I looked at it in general as well as its application to Colorado.  In today’s post I’m asking some additional basic questions, which are aimed at making some fine-tuning adjustments where our present law doesn’t appear to suffer any major shortcomings.

How Can We Appropriately and Affordably Assess a Person’s Capacity?

Last month I attended a meeting of the UGCOPAA subcommittee of two Colorado Bar Association sections.   We are tasked with looking over the proposed uniform law’s provisions and we discussed some of the UGCOPPA’s provisions concerning the role of evaluations – like neuropsychological evaluations to assess a person’s functional capacities to perform different cognitive tasks of a person’s capacity.

How can we ensure that a capacity assessment is “good enough” for purposes of a court’s determination regarding whether a person is incapacitated or whether a person could benefit from assistance for particular tasks or function – something short of an unlimited guardianship and what will later be discussed as a kind of “other protective arrangement?

What Are the Implications for Going Beyond a “Physician’s Letter” that Are Currently Used to Support a Petition for Guardianship?

In Colorado, our law presently disfavors the imposition of plenary or unlimited guardianships over limited guardianships.  But – and this is a big caveat – the difficulty, particularly in addressing the circumstances of an elder with worsening dementia, is that it may sound like a good idea to have a limited guardianship but such arrangement may not be workable on a practical level because it might require the court to revisit the person’s needs as they increase and require more support from others which would not be contemplated in a limited guardianship.

Will the cost for getting a “good enough” evaluation make the proceedings too expensive?

The challenge here is how to make the laws accessible but still affordable for states with tight judicial resources. Easier said than done! I don’t think it would be a good idea to have a law which is an “unfunded mandate” in this context!

In case you’re wondering what is going on in the rest of the country regarding “guardianship reform,” there are some recently updated resources from the American Bar Association’s Commission on Aging.

Remember that the “guarding the guardians” theme is nothing new for guardianship legislation.  Over the years, studies have been performed to assess the effectiveness of monitoring and oversight by courts, as well as training and accountability for court appointed fiduciaries (including guardians).  There have been a number of national guardianship conferences (including those known as “Wingspan”) in which specific recommendations have been identified, which have included those concerning monitoring  by courts.

The National Center for State Courts also has a Center for Elders and the Courts webpage, which contains useful resources including an elder abuse toolkit and an elder abuse curriculum.  What we’re really talking about here in guardianship reform is about preventing elder abuse.  But it is complicated because the definitions concerning what constitutes elder abuse are inconsistent among states and federal law.  I do not want to diminish the importance of looking at reforms for state guardianship laws, but in my experience, the detection and reporting of elder abuse is a far more challenging and pervasive problem.  Ensuring that the civil rights of elders are protected requires us to look at the big picture in this regard, so that is what we are doing.  More on this topic next time….

© 2018 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

Does Guardianship Law Need Reform in Colorado?

guardianship reform

At the Threshold

This may seem like a pretty basic and simple question, maybe too simple for some – but it lies at the heart of a debate currently raging in many parts of our country.  A couple axioms come to mind here – first: “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater;” and “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  I don’t want to appear trite here, but we do first need to identify and distinguish the baby from the bathwater so to speak, as well as identify the system (which is imperfect as all systems are) and/or its parts which may be working as anticipated or which are in fact broken.

So what is it that people mean by “guardianship reform?”

Well, it depends on who you ask! I like this definition of law reform:

Law reform is the process of analyzing current laws and advocating and carrying out changes in a legal system, usually with the aim of enhancing justice or efficiency. By promoting and executing changes in a legal system, individuals and groups can implement changes in a given society. Law reform can be achieved through litigation, legislation, or regulatory change, and often requires the collaboration of a variety of groups in different practice settings. Law reform may also be defensive – stopping changes in existing law through litigation or legislative advocacy.

Here is an explanation on the need for guardianship reform as explained by the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA), of which I am a longtime member:

Guardianship is an ancient legal device dating back to early Greece and the Roman Empire.  It protects at-risk individuals and provides for their needs.  At the same time, because it removes fundamental rights, it should be considered a last resort when no appropriate less restrictive alternatives are available. With the aging of the population and rising numbers of persons with mental disabilities, adult guardianship has received increased scrutiny in the last 25 years.  The history of guardianship reform shows a marked advance in law but uneven implementation in practice. Guardianship reform laws have focused on five related areas:

  • Stronger procedural due process protections in the appointment process;

  • Changes in duties and powers of guardians, and provisions for limited guardianship orders;

  • Guardian accountability and court monitoring; and

  • Public and agency guardianship.

With the “silver tsunami” of aging baby boomers, there can be no doubt that more attention and resources are needed to address this challenge for each state and the federal government (which has its own system for its programs) of crafting a workable and cost-effective legal framework which honors human dignity, protects fundamental rights of elder disabled or incapacitated persons, provides accountability of court-appointed fiduciaries (guardians and conservators) and honors other important values.

Is Guardianship Usually Considered a “Last Resort?”

As an attorney practicing in this field and appearing regularly in probate courts, I can say that under our statutory framework (the Colorado Uniform Guardianship and Protective Proceedings Act or “CUGPPA”), as evidenced by the Colorado State Judicial Department’s proscribed form for a Petition for Guardianship, as consistent with applicable case law, and as a result of certain judicial officers questions posed to counsel and interested parties to a protective proceeding – the imposition of a guardianship is a last resort.

When I counsel clients for estate planning and we discuss the importance of durable powers of attorney, I stress the importance of choosing the right person to serve as agent.  I also state that in nearly all cases, the powers of attorney will work as intended if the need for them arises – but I also caution clients that while a guardianship or conservatorship may be the “nuclear option” in many scenarios, it is sometimes the only effective means to protect a vulnerable adult from the influence of or exploitation by another.  Sometimes I have had to explain in court documents or to an inquiring judicial officer why the power of attorney is not working as intended.  These types of situations can be quite complicated and usually involve some family dysfunction that is expressed as one person’s (often an adult child of an elder) need to try to control a situation or the actions of or access to an elder parent.

Notwithstanding these considerations, once a determination is made that an elder adult is incapacitated and in need of protection, there is supposed to be a range of alternatives which a court can order, ranging from a limited guardianship to an unlimited or “plenary” guardianship.

But a limited guardianship is generally considered unworkable because of the myriad challenges to and difficulties of monitoring a limited guardian’s exercise of authority.

As for the unlimited or plenary guardianship, I would say that this has become the “default” type of guardianship imposed.  This is where my concern about civil rights for elders resonates and why I am looking closely at the new legislation put forward by the Uniform Law Commission (the Uniform Guardianship, Conservatorship, and other Protective Arrangements Act or “UGCOPAA”)  for adoption by the states.  The National Center on Elder Abuse has a helpful document which summarizes the goals of the new model legislation.  The American Bar Association urges support of the UGCOPAA for its provisions regarding “supported decision making” as a less restrictive alternative to imposition of a guardianship.

What Do Abuses Have to Do With the Need for Systemic Reform?

My question here is again a basic one.  There can be no doubt that the incidences of overreaching or financial abuse by court-appointed guardians must be remedied, particularly where a state court’s system allowed for such abuse to take place because of the lack of systemic protections of elders’ civil rights including due process.  One of the most infamous examples of this was described in The New Yorker article “The Takeover,” written by Rachel Aviv, a chilling true story which recounts in detail what happened to an elderly couple (and several other elders) in Las Vegas, Nevada and how their daughter was powerless to protect her parents.

I have had a couple clients ask me whether that Las Vegas-style abuse could happen here in Colorado.  I believe it could not happen here, but I remain concerned about the protection of elders’ civil rights.  Remember that the guardianship proceeding is essentially an extinguishment of an elder’s civil rights!

But there is a separate consequence at issue here – once a guardian or conservator is appointed by a court, there remains the issue of court oversight of the appointed fiduciary and this is another place where things can get difficult.  Here’s a link to a recent NY Times article which contains some alarming statistics about the amount of money that has gone missing in reported cases of guardians stealing from their wards.  In each judicial district, Colorado maintains a probate monitor whose job it is to ensure that guardians and conservators (particularly the latter as they manage finances for a protected person or ward) provide the necessary information for filing the required reports.  The Colorado state judicial branch monitors probate cases in other ways as well.

In my next post in this series, I will examine some of the abuses which have been uncovered and publicized and put forward as compelling reasons for guardianship reform.  I wish everyone a happy new year!

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

Is Guardianship Reform Coming to Colorado?

One Stone of an Ancient Ring

I’m beginning a series of posts about guardianship reform and its relationship to elder abuse.

What is known as “guardianship reform” is a very hot topic these days.

On the local level, I noticed that a candidate for a Littleton City Council seat made a critical reference to the powers of the Adult Protective Services system to investigate the welfare of a local resident (who apparently has dementia) living in her own home.  In the national press, guardianship reform has received lots of attention.  For Colorado, we have had versions of the Uniform Law Commission’s Uniform Guardianship and Protective Proceedings in our probate code for quite some time.  You can review the User’s Manuals for Guardians and for Conservators in Colorado here.

The Uniform Guardianship, Conservatorship and Other Protective Arrangements Act

But there is a newer 2017 version of a uniform law which the Uniform Law Commissioners have prepared for adoption by the states.  It is known as the Uniform Guardianship, Conservatorship, and Other Protective Arrangements Act, or UGCOPAA.  You can read more about it here.  A sub-committee of the Trusts & Estates and Elder Law Sections of the Colorado Bar Association is presently reviewing its provisions to examine how its provisions would impact existing Colorado law (our code and case law pertaining to its provisions).  More about that later!

This post is the introduction to the series and so I ask the basic question:

What does guardianship reform have to do with elder abuse prevention?

Apparently, plenty!  Particularly if you happen to be the child of a celebrity whose stepmother acted as your father’s guardian and limited or prevented you from visiting your parent during the end of his life and while he was suffering from dementia. The connection came to me the other day in the form of a Google alert.  It cited to a recent article about Casey Kasem’s daughter Kerri, who had a dispute with Kasem’s wife about his care while suffering from Lewy body dementia as well as the disposition of his last remains.  Glen Campbell’s children also had difficulties with their stepmother and their effort resulted in a Tennessee law that will “protect elderly.”  This LA Times article is about Kerri Kasem teaming up with Catherine Falk to advocate for more restrictions on a guardian’s authority which would allow more family members and others the right to visit a person under a guardianship.

In coming posts, I will explore topics including:

  • The importance of making your fiduciary/care wishes known If you are part of a dysfunctional family;
  • Who and what are fiduciaries in the elder law and probate context and why have they become so controversial?
  • What are unlimited guardianships, limited guardianships and “other protective arrangements;”

As well as other topics that arise in this context.  So please stay tuned!

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

 

Giving Tuesday – Consider Giving Some Time to an Isolated Elder

Make the Connection!

Today is Colorado Gives Day!

Otherwise known as Giving Tuesday, the day designed to spotlight opportunities for people to give to charitable causes.  The day seems to have come into existence when two organizations, the 92nd Street Y in New York City and the United Nations Foundation came together in October 2012, with the intention to set aside a day that was all about celebrating the generosity of giving, a great American tradition.   According to USA Today, Giving Tuesday raised $180 million in online donations.  That is nothing to sneeze at!

Donating Locally is Easy!

Here in Colorado, we’ve got our own website with over 2,000 nonprofits listed to receive donor’s contributions.  You can visit the website and find a good place for your donation to support if you’re at a loss about which type of charity you’d like to benefit.

Instead of highlighting the worthy nonprofits which serve low-income elders, I’m looking at Colorado Gives Day with a different goal in mind – to raise awareness about reaching out to socially isolated elders in our communities.  I’m not just talking about making contact with folks who reside in senior housing residences, assisted living or skilled nursing facilities, but also to those elders who are “gaining in place” in their own homes and face considerable social isolation based on a number of factors.

What About Donating Your Time?

One way to ease an isolated elder’s isolation and also solidify our own connections with community members we might never have otherwise met – is to volunteer our time – even if for a few short minutes or hours.

You can easily volunteer your time locally through a nonprofit like Metro Volunteers, who will match your skills with a nonprofit looking for someone with your skills.  Whether it is a board of directors position you seek, a mentoring opportunity with a youth, or serving food to people at a shelter – Metro Volunteers can assist.

But the focus of today’s post is about giving time to an elder who is isolated.

There are numerous article and research into the effects of loneliness on the elderly population.  One recent study concluded that loneliness is a significant public health concern among elders.  In addition to easing a potential source of suffering, the identification and targeting of interventions for lonely elders may significantly decrease physician visits and health care costs.

Decreasing an Elder’s Sense of Isolation Helps Prevent Elder Abuse

I’m reposting a link from an elder abuse prevention listserve I am part of, originally posted this morning by the Social Media Manager of the NYC Elder Abuse Center at Weill Cornell Medical College.  The holidays are difficult times for many of us.  She writes “During the holiday season, family gatherings are more commonplace. Older adults feel social isolation more acutely, yet crave the connection. This holiday season NYCEAC is asking our social media followers to commit to have a conversation with an older adult in their life during the month of December. We know everyone benefits from a connection, and improves the health of the community at large, too.” We’re calling our campaign Countering Isolation, or #CounteringIsolation.

Remember that this type of giving of our time to another who doesn’t have the physical, psychological, financial or emotional wherewithal to engage in the broader community is a good thing with many positive benefits for us,  Happy Giving Tuesday!

© Barbara E. Cashman 2017   www.DenverElderLaw.org

Elder Veterans and Elder Abuse

prevent abuse of elder veteran

ROTC picture of my Dad, who became an officer of the U.S. Army Air Corps

In observance of this Veteran’s Day, November 11, 2017, I wanted to share a blog post on this topic as well as some valuable resources.

“Boots on the Ground” to Prevent Exploitation of Elder Veterans

I want to begin with a shout-out for: Boots on the Ground – Fighting Financial Abuse of Elder Veterans by Tamari Hedani, Associate Director of the Elder Abuse Prevention Program at the Institute on Aging.

Fraudsters and Scammers Often Specialize in Particular Target Communities

Financial predators often “specialize” in identifying their victims by targeting specific populations and communities.  We know this is true for elder veterans.   I recently read an article about the “ghost scam” in New York City, where elder Chinese immigrants have been victimized by well-organized groups of scammers looking to take advantage of a common language and cultural ties for the purpose of stealing money from the immigrants.

Some People Who Claim to Be Offering Assistance to Elder Veterans Are Looking to Take Advantage of Them

There is an unfortunate variety of elder financial exploitation among the community of elder veterans.  Keep in mind that it is against the law to charge veterans or their families to fill out paperwork for the purposes of applying for benefits, and veterans and their friends and family members need to be reminded of this.  There are firms who do attempt to charge money for these services, and they should be reported, along with any kind of suspected fraud.

Fraud against veterans can involve variations on an old scam and involve bad advice concerning eligibility and result in financial windfalls for the seller of annuities or insurance.  The AARP warns in a recent post of four types of scams: the “cash for benefits” scheme; the “update your military file” scam; charity scams involving money for sick  or disabled veterans; and the “Veterans Choice Program” scam.  but worse yet are the pension poaching scams and other financial abuse of elder veterans.  Here is helpful information  from the Center on Elder Abuse about what a retired veteran needs to know before assets are transferred in order to qualify for benefits.

Whether Elder Veterans Are Aging in Place at Home or Living in Communal Settings, Important Resources Are Available to Assist in Detecting and Reporting Suspected Abuse or Exploitation

On the topic of benefits, the Veterans Health Administration (part of the Department of Veterans Affairs) and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services developed the Veteran Directed Home and Community Based Services program to provide wider choices concerning long-term care services and living at home as long as possible.

Elder veterans and their loved ones have resources available to assist them in detecting and reporting elder exploitation and abuse.  This flyer from the US Department of Justice’s Elder Justice Initiative contains phone numbers for immediate assistance and other helpful contact information for veterans.

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

The Perils of Elderhood: Retirement Insecurity

Florentine graffiti… what me worry?

The road to elderhood, a successful elderhood at least – relies upon a foundation built on experience.  The experiences of this “newness” to one’s old age or elderhood, implies that in the second half of one’s life we can utilize our experiences of trauma, grief and pain which we all experience in the first half of life and translate them into our own personal form of resilience.  Well, that might be a goal at least.  How many of us get evaluated or graded upon these kinds of things? Hmmm, not many – particularly when many of us who have reached that “certain age” as the French call it, care less about what others might think of us. Retirement insecurity can take on many characteristics including depression due to a lack of a purpose to get out of bed or a place to go, not knowing where we “fit in” in the new world of retirement, determining where we want to live if our grandchildren are far away, and so on.

Change Typically Makes Us Feel Insecure

So, can this story of one’s elderhood be a “new” story for us?  I think the answer is a resounding “yes” – this notwithstanding my lack of reference to a single “self-help” book! Acknowledging the hurts and harms we sustained in the past and being with them to the extent that we neither deny their existence nor do we fixate on trying to heal those hurts.  Maturity here calls forth both a degree of necessary resilience as well as a certain perspective taking which is not “all about us.”  The funny thing about time and our relationship to it is that we are always able to remake and retool that relationship.  I think about the oft-used saying that it is “never too late to have a happy childhood.”

We Can Plan For Some Semblance of Security and Adjust Our Expectations

I will use the quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupery (author of the beloved story The Little Prince) on this topic:

The time for action is now. It’s never too late to do something.

The number of boomers inching into retirement continues to rise, this notwithstanding the changes and insecurity that retirement brings.  I have heard many people say that they can’t afford to retire and they will just keep working. . . but this is often realistic because it ignores some of the challenges that come with aging and assumes that there will be a job or some form of suitable employment.  Here’s a recent Washington Post article about financial insecurity in retirement.

As the U.S. government Accountability Office recently observed in a report – financial insecurity is trending.  I’m not quite sure what that means – but I don’t think it’s a good thing!  Section four of the GAO’s 173-page report examines the need to re-evaluate the nation’s approach to financing retirement.  It notes:

Over the past 40 years, the nation has sought to address the issues facing the U.S. retirement system in a piecemeal fashion. This approach may not be able to effectively address the interrelated nature of the challenges facing the system today. Fundamental economic changes have occurred, as well as the shift from DB to DC plans, with important consequences for the system. Further, it has been nearly 40 years since a federal commission has conducted a comprehensive evaluation of the nation’s approach to financing retirement. A panel of retirement experts convened by GAO in November 2016 agreed that there is a need for a new comprehensive evaluation. The experiences of other countries can also provide useful insights for ways to improve the system.

There are numerous articles about the failed IRA and 401(k) experiments as a replacement for defined benefit (DB) plans, a/k/a pensions, but I will steer clear of those.  These plans have encouraged Americans to save for their retirement, but about half of Americans aged 55 or older have NO retirement savings in an IRA or 401(k).  But here is a link to a Forbes article which disputes the dire findings of the GAO report for its failure to account for valuable pensions.

It’s Not Too Late to Plan for Or Scrutinize Our Retirement Budget Expectations

So, retirement saving and planning is both an individual and a collective phenomenon, that’s nothing new – but what about those factors affecting the sufficiency of our retirement income based on our savings, pension and social security income?  How much money will we need in retirement? The answer is, of course – it depends!

The single biggest expense that faces Americans in retirement is health care and it is under attack once again, this time in the form of tax legislation which the Congress is still working on, but the handwriting was on the wall for Medicare when the 2018 budget was recently unveiled.   We still don’t have any details about the tax package.

How Many Elders Will Be Able to Afford Medicare Coverage in the Coming Years?

Here is a 10/27/17 article from the Kaiser Family Foundation which examines how the loss of the ACA’s Cost-Sharing Payments will affect insurance premiums in 2018.  While the costs of health care in retirement remain largely uncertain and unknown for most of us, an article from last summer estimated that health care will cost couples $275,000 in retirement.  Wow!  What happens to those elders who can’t afford the Medicare premiums, co-pays and deductibles?

It is extremely difficult to anticipate how much coverage will be left in Medicare as well as how much it will cost in premiums. Here is a link to the 10/26/17 AARP’s  “Premium Support is the Wrong Direction for Medicare: Highlights from a New Research Report.”  The Urban Institute’s 10/26/17 Report, on which the criticisms of restructuring Medicare premium support is based, is available here.  The conclusions include several areas of concern around the effects of premium supports, which they conclude would drive up premiums, making better plans much less affordable, along with the prospect that in some areas, private plans may no longer be available.    These effects would not lead to any increase in choice, but would lead to homelessness and hardship among elders, as one source reported only a few days ago.

Perhaps elders still have some voice in stating preferences about how they will be affected by changes to Medicare. . . .

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

Elder Abuse and Domestic Violence

Elder Abuse Hastens Death

October is domestic violence awareness month.  I have previously explored some of the links between these two dangerous expressions of violence -elder abuse and domestic violence, but I thought it was time to delve into this topic a bit more deeply.  The National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse identifies domestic violence as

an escalating pattern of violence or intimidation by an intimate partner, which is used to gain power and control.

Two broad categories of domestic violence against the elderly can be identified:

“Domestic violence grown old” 

is when domestic violence started earlier in life and persists into old age.

“Late onset domestic violence”

begins in old age. There may have been a strained relationship or emotional abuse earlier that got worse as the partners aged. When abuse begins or is exacerbated in old age, it is likely to be linked to: events such as retirement, disability, changing roles of family members and sexual changes.

Many people might find it curious that some elders would enter abusive relationships late in life, but there is a strong connection between elder abuse and family violence.  Family violence can manifest in a variety of ways, from callous and violent actions toward a pet or other animal which can often lay the groundwork for the “power over” relationships with others, particularly those who are in low power positions such as elders.  Following on this thread, the American Humane Society has identified connections between animal cruelty and human violence.

Effort is Needed to Improve and Streamline the Collection of Data and the Study of Elder Abuse

The study of elder abuse – encompassing its variety of forms and definitions – is still in its infancy.  The Urban Institute’s research report from June 2016, What Is Elder Abuse? A Taxonomy for Collecting Criminal Justice Research and Statistical Data, notes that there is no uniform, national-level definition of elder abuse because the response to elder abuse has occurred primarily at the state and local level.  The report’s proposed taxonomy seeks to grapple with the disconnect between estimating the incidence of elder abuse nationwide when there is such a wide variation in definitions of elder abuse among the states, not to mention how these incidences of such events or crimes is reported among the states.  The report looks at the many layers of elder abuse in terms of what types of acts constitute elder abuse; what kinds of people are the victims; what is the relationship between the perpetrator and the victim; when is elder abuse a crime or not a criminal offense, and why it is important to collect data concerning reports which fall below the threshold of elder abuse.

The fact that the study of elder abuse  – as a form of interpersonal and often domestic or intimate partner violence – is in its infancy does not mean, however, that there are not valuable and helpful resources available, such as these resources from the National Center for State Courts’ Center for Elders and the Courts, which offer educational information for laypersons as well as proposed standards for state courts to improve the courts’ ability to recognize and effectively respond to victims of elder abuse, as well as offering guidance to guidance to and effectively prosecution of these offenses by law enforcement.

The Troubling Intersection of Domestic Violence and Elder Abuse for Elder Women

One of the troubling intersections I came across in research for this post was the element that the elder woman victim may need to pay close attention to which state “system” she enters to report the abuse, as the domestic violence and adult protective service agencies operate independently and define causes of abuse differently.  I found a very helpful article on this topic published by two faculty members of the School of Social Work at Loyola University Chicago.

Fortunately, there is a developing approach to the challenge of identifying, reporting and prosecuting elder abuse which is multidisciplinary in nature.  Not all elder abuse is criminal.  For most of us practicing in the field of elder law for more than a “few years,” there was often a refrain from a law enforcement agency that the alleged abuse was not serious enough (or not a large sum of money involved) to warrant prosecution and so was “a civil matter.”  I remain concerned that there is a wide gulf between what is sufficient to activate the criminal prosecution of elder abuse and how the civil law (including probate proceedings) can provide applicable and appropriate relief to the fullest extent appropriate.

I believe the best policy is to have persons unsure about reporting suspected elder abuse to make the call to law enforcement so that the appropriate government authority can determine the scope of the investigation of the suspected abuse and whether it is appropriate for prosecution.  This reporting, even if it results in no investigation or subsequent prosecution, remains important for data collection purposes.  In this context, as in so many others. . ..  information is power.

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

Dreaming Into Dying: A Practice for Letting Go

 

dreaming-into-dying

Patience

I thought since last week I wrote on the topic of dreaming into retirement, well – why not take it a step further and look at dreams of the dying or dreams of death?

Research Into Dreams of the Dying

Here’s an interesting article from the New York Times February 2, 2016.  The story is about some work from a team of researchers led by Dr. Christopher Kerr at Hospice Buffalo.   The study was conducted with fifty-nine terminally ill patients, nearly all of whom reported having dreams or visions, most of which were comforting.  The article noted that

The dreams and visions loosely sorted into categories: opportunities to engage with the deceased; loved ones “waiting;” unfinished business. Themes of love, given or withheld, coursed through the dreams, as did the need for resolution and even forgiveness. In their dreams, patients were reassured that they had been good parents, children and workers. They packed boxes, preparing for journeys, and, like Mr. Majors, often traveled with dear companions as guides. Although many patients said they rarely remembered their dreams, these they could not forget.

Reading about “traveling companions” reminded me of a dream my father related to me some weeks before he passed away.

Dreams and Dying as Part of Life’s Process Toward Completion

The article and the research it discusses are remarkable because it addresses one of the taboo subjects around dying as a life process – is there preparation for it with our psyche’s assistance (through dreams or visions) and whether persons sometimes know in advance that death is imminent (notwithstanding the lack of knowledge of an illness).  Our cause and effect, materialist-objectivist obsession with measuring what we can know (or pretend to know, if enough people are in agreement) generally simply denies outright the mystery of the end of life.  But as more people die at home or with hospice and palliative care providers who are not leading a pitched against the “enemy” – collectively disease and death – it seems that we are gaining more personal experience with death and dying.  It might represent a gradual questioning or moving away from the model of technocratic dying in hospitals, where expressions of our relationship with and compassion for dying loved ones generally had to be subjected to the intrusions of our medical-industrial establishment and its protocols administered by “experts.”

A Scientific American Mind article entitled “Vivid Dreams Comfort the Dying” also explored Dr. Kerr’s work, which was published in the American Journal of Hospice & Palliative Care.  It seems that the conclusions are likely to be consistent with dreams of dying and deathbed visions and visitations recorded throughout history: that most of the time the person is comforted by the dream or vision of their impending demise, as if Psyche were assisting with the transitions as a kind of midwife.

The Experience Is More Likely to be Labelled a “Vision” if it is Comforting to the Dying Person

If the experience is upsetting to the person, typically a patient receiving hospice care, it might otherwise be termed a “hallucination” or “delirium.”  But I like the unequivocal language of this post from Crossroads Hospice about end-of-life visions:

These visions are not hallucinations or a reaction to medication. The most important thing to do if your loved one is seeing visions or having visitation dreams is to acknowledge and support them. Do not argue with your loved one about the experience, correct them, or try to explain the vision. Do not panic as that can upset your loved one. Instead, take them at their word and encourage them to share the experience with you.

“As a caregiver, it is not our job to prove, disprove, or do experiments,” says Carolyn. “We are there to provide support and comfort.

In most cases, these end-of-life visions are indeed a source of great comfort to the person experiencing them.

It’s reassuring to know that as more people are able to die at home with support from hospice care provided, this aspect of the death taboo is losing more of its sting.  A link to one last resource guide is in order, this one McGill University called “Nearing the End of Life: A Guide for Relatives and Friends of the Dying.”

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

 

Dreaming Into Retirement Planning

Dreamtime Batik

I recently ran across an article by financial “coach” Chris Hogan  about the importance of having a dream to inspire us to plan for and to carry out our plan for retirement.

Hogan’s tactic is to motivate, not intimidate or strike fear. His book “Retire Inspired: It’s Not an Age, It’s a Financial Number” and if you’re interested in listening to one of his podcasts, here’s a link to that.

I liked this idea and of course it wasn’t new.  I thought of Richard Leider, the author who penned the book “Life Reimagined” in 2013 and has championed risk-taking for folks over 50 while cautioning us against being a “former” anything in retirement.  You can watch his Ted x talk about the importance of finding your purpose, particularly to motivate retired people to get out of bed in the morning.

Can we dream into our purpose when we are facing retirement?

Dreaming can, at any time or stage of our lives, help us find our place in the world and to help identify the challenges which face us.   Dreams can help us construct our own personal mythology, our story in terms of what we are here to do and how we are meant to be in this world.

I suppose it depends on how you define “dreaming “of course  – and whether we work on the dreams or they work on us.  I am rather fond of Dr. Jung’s quote from Dreams, Memories, Reflections, which he wrote when he was eighty-one:

Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakes.

It’s a rather slippery slope, isn’t it?  Particularly for us Americans who have always felt so strongly about being in charge of our lives.  We who know such boundaries and demarcations flowing from our sense of autonomy. Retirement forces us to think differently about what we do with the rest of our lives.  We often thing about this as a sad, backward gaze, held and nurtured for its lost glory.  But it can be a time for us to lighten our load of our thinking about our lives and about its doings.  Perhaps it can be liberation.

Leider talks about the three “M’s” of money, medicine (health) and meaning – the fundamental things that help us identify what we really need so we can be free to leave behind the other things that may simply distract us.

I think for many of us the fear of retirement, and why we are loath to plan for it, is that we don’t want to allow ourselves the space to dream because, well, it might not be what we think we “always wanted” or what was expected of us.  I think it also has a lot to do with our fear of aging in general as the run up to the inevitable end of our lives.

So what to do in the meantime?

Start dreaming, particularly your own dream, not someone else’s!  And if you don’t want to dream because it sounds too silly, then take Leider’s napkin test and see if you can pull that off!  Get together with a loved one or colleague and take “the napkin test” to discover what is really important to you, what gives you joy and allows you to feel connected to others.  Stop and reflect.  You can watch (on Daniel Pink’s website) a one minute and twenty second video featuring Leider explaining how to do this

I’ve condensed a bit of Hogan’s advice here from that Washington Post article above:

  • A secure retirement isn’t accidental;
  • Dream your dream and make a plan that will get you to that dream;
  • Execute the plan with a commitment to do what is necessary to bring it to fruition.

Lastly, here is another article by Hogan about  What do you need to do to retire with $1 million?

Happy dreaming!

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org

The Dreaded “O” Word and Aging Into Wisdom

Old

 

I recently attended an educational lunch program put on by a financial advisor at a restaurant downtown.  It was geared to attorneys and their retirement planning needs. Most of us in attendance were “old enough” to be planning for retirement already and we had a number of questions answered.  A latecomer to the program arrived after we had finished our lunch.  He proceeded to ask our host a question about a “hypothetical 75 year old” but I suspected this colleague’s age to be well in excess of 80 years.  What really struck me however, was his use of the expression “O word” as if to acknowledge some common implied cultural unwillingness to use the term “old” as if it were a pejorative term.  I was both puzzled and troubled by this use of the term which I had never heard before, let alone from the mouth of an octogenarian!

So maybe there’s more than a few of us who simply refuse to accept this aging thing that we do, but I insist that there is a bright future for wisdom in elderhood. . . Here’s a link to a New York Times article  from 2014 about the science (from a psychological perspective) of “older and wiser” and  a short article from last month in Psychology Today entitled “Are Older People Wiser?”

Wisdom is one of the very few positive stereotypes of elderhood, but it’s of course not necessarily true.  A passive aging focused on the denial of age and eventual death does not lead to a ripeness of wisdom in one’s elder years. The jury is still out on this “older and wiser” issue, but while elders’ brains generally slow down, an elder’s experience and knowledge can make up for the shortcomings in processing speed and distractibility.  But getting to elderhood requires one to accept and even embrace our aging, learn from experience and to grow one’s knowledge along the way.  If we’re busily engaged with denying our aging, resenting that we’re “not who we used to be,” then that wisdom piece will remain elusive because we are failing to come to terms with a most basic premise of this life: the length of a life is uncertain and all we truly have is the present.

So, what is wisdom?  I liked these two definitions found at the Collins dictionary:

Wisdom is the ability to use your experience and knowledge in order to make sensible decisions or judgments; and in American

the quality of being wise; power of judging rightly and following the soundest course of action, based on knowledge, experience, understanding, etc.; good judgment; sagacity

There is also the wisdom tradition, which is synonymous with Perennialism, defined in Wikipedia as “the idea that there is a perennial or mystic inner core to all religious or spiritual traditions, without the trappings, doctrinal literalism, sectarianism, and power structures that are associated with institutionalized religion.”

So I turn to a favorite classic of literature here, Aldous Huxley’s The Perennial Philosophy, finding particularly relevant his quote of Francois Fenelon (at 257 of the Harper Perennial Modern Classics edition) to the subject of wisdom as an outgrowth of embracing the aging process as part of our experience of our selves:

Faults will turn to good, provided we use then to our own humiliation, without slackening in the effort to correct ourselves.  Discouragement serves no possible purpose; it is simply the despair of wounded self-love.  The real way of profiting by the humiliation of one’s own faults is to face them in their true hideousness, without ceasing to hope in God, while hoping nothing from self.

If we can avoid becoming overwhelmed with the discouragement of old age and its changes to us and in us, perhaps we can exercise that sagacity referred to above.  There a number of resources in the wisdom of aging category, including the late Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi’s book From Age-ing to Sage-ing which led to the founding of the Sage-ing International organization, which hosts workshops, webinars, conferences and other forums for fostering “spiritual eldering.”  Their website states that moving from age-ing to sage-ing involves the following:

  1. Developing a willingness to deal with life completion and overcoming the desire to stay in denial of aging.
  2. Coming to terms with our mortality.
  3. Acquiring the skills for working on the inside by practicing journaling, meditation, imaginal exercises, and spiritual intimacy by creating safe and sacred space in dyads.
  4. Paying attention to our body, feelings, mind, and spirit, being guided by them and maintaining them in the right tone, mood, and attitude.
  5. Giving  a real hearing to the inner voices – allowing all the minorities within the whole person their witness.
  6. Beginning to do life repair:
  • in health
  • in practical matters with wills and testaments
  • in relationships and between generations
  • by reaching into the past and offering release and healing
  • through forgiveness work with release from vindictiveness
  • by finding the pearls in the anxious memories
  • 7. Doing the philosophical homework by raising questions about the purpose and the meaning of our lives.
  • 8. Serving as elders to others as guides, mentors, and agent of healing and reconciliation on behalf of the planet, the nation, and the family by being wisdom keepers.
  • 9. Preparing for a serene death and afterlife, furnishing our solitude with God.
  • 10. Doing this nobly in connectedness with the inner, actualized self,  already realized, individuated, and complete.This is a formidable list, but fortunately there is assistance in the Sage-ing community for these efforts.  There are also other excellent resources which may involve a bit less introspection and life review.Jane Barton (of Cardinal Life LLC), an excellent local speaker with whom I am acquainted, has a program she has entitled “The Journey of Aging.”  Part of her programming covers the denial of death and the aging process and how that unwillingness to engage with our mortality adversely impacts our present abilities to consciously and deliberately plan for our future.

© 2017 Barbara Cashman  www.DenverElderLaw.org