Write Your Own Obituary

Many of us who focus our practice on estate planning encourage our clients to write an ethical will or include a testament in their will. Is it “over the top” to write you own obituary while you are taking stock of what is important to you in terms of your property, end of life decisions and choosing trustworthy agents for your durable powers of attorney?  I would say no, not at all, and many people would agree.  What do YOU want to be remembered for?

You may have had the opportunity to write a funeral notice or obituary for a deceased parent or other relative.  For many of us this was quite difficult, so if we’re already doing the “heavy lifting” of making a comprehensive estate plan – why not include the obituary as well?  A helpful tip about writing your own obituary might include “remember, it’s not a job application,” so your résumé may not be appropriate; and you may want to think deeply about what you want to be remembered for – considering all the different people and facets of your life.  Click here for some helpful tips. If this still sounds like too much for you, you might consider taking stock of your life right now (after all, dying is part of life) or giving yourself another 20-50 years and coming up with an unconventional demise – as in another helpful article.  The writer Brad Meltzer’s Ted video is very thought-provoking, you can view it here and go through his exercise.  I like his legacy-based approach, which focuses not on what you did for yourself (your education, etc.) but what you did for others.

How to get started? You can stick with the more traditional template for the obituaries and funeral notices that you typically find in the newspaper, or you can go beyond that into what Meltzer suggests – look at your personal, family and community legacies (the “who” of remembrance), and beyond that into the “what” – the actions for which you want to be remembered.  Things like what you do for perfect strangers, for other people. Are you living what you want to be remembered for right now?  This is where the transformation can take place, because each of us has the choice about how we live right now, to be remembered for your kindness, acts or charity and the like – that is true immortality.  I think of G.K. Chesterton’s quote here: “There is a road from the eye to the heart that does not go through the intellect.”  I must thank Sue for giving me this idea for the post, in an  indirect sort of way.