Solstice and Death Denial

Night Lights

Solstice is an astronomical event, a phenomenon occurring biannually which marks two extremes: the shortest day of the year (today) and the longest day of the year. Its meaning derives from the Latin: sol for sun of course and stice meaning standing still in that the sun stops before it reverses its direction.  All cultures in the world have noted or somehow marked the occurrence of the solstice, but each has historically come away with different forms of its observance.

I’m writing about solstice today for a couple reasons I suppose. One is its reminder of constant change in our natural world.  There is always some movement in this life – a lengthening and a shortening, a moving toward and a moving away from, but it often seems that many of us would rather insist on holding onto something a bit more concrete, that we can touch, hold or identify as familiar.  Most of us do not welcome change with open arms because it represent the unknown, about which we can never be too certain.

In the coming months I will be writing more about a favorite theme of mine – the denial of death.  This denial of death which we endorse and glorify in our culture, often unwittingly, is essentially a denial of life.  We can’t have one without the other.  So how do we manage this uncertainty which often presents as anxiety – either on a personal or collective level?  Many of us will simply choose to react, to prepare for what we think is inevitable in our minds – as if we can predict the future.  Of course many of us can predict the future in that the narrowness of our ability to see the world in front of us is such that our field of vision is limited to only those things which we want to see.

This closing up, this denial of what we don’t want to accept, what we are not willing to see and what we have told ourselves we would never accept is in many ways like a solstice.  Our world shrinks down to what is manageable under the circumstances, the mystery and uncertainty of what we can’t control is simply too much for many of us.  But what if the unknown, the uncertainty is our best teacher?  How might we respond to it? I think of a favorite quote of David Steindl-Rast:

The root of joy is gratefulness…It is not joy that makes us grateful;

it is gratitude that makes us joyful.

You can watch Brother David’s Ted Talk here.

I have written about gratitude and gratefulness a number of times.  In our culture, we tend to be focused almost exclusively on the personal losses faced in elderhood: the loss of autonomy as a result of physical, mental or emotional difficulties or challenges; the loss of purpose in that many of us no longer feel we are contributing members of a community; and the loss of engagement in life. I believe that successful elderhood is possible and desirable, amidst all the difficulties, pessimism and “conventional wisdom” (or insanity, depending on your point of view) – perhaps even as a result of all these challenges.  This is what I will be writing more about in 2017.  I am grateful for this opportunity to write about this, for each of you that reads a post of mine and particularly to those who comment or send me an email about a post.  Happy solstice day today and may your days be lengthened in joy and deepened in purpose.

© Barbara E. Cashman 2016   www.DenverElderLaw.org

Dementia and the Growing Prevalence of Elder Abuse

Not Winter Flowers

Not Winter Flowers

I was reading a list serve post yesterday that told of the member’s father (a retired attorney in another state) who got a call from a scammer claiming to be an attorney working on behalf of a grandchild in trouble with the law.  The post was essentially a “heads-up” kind of post to a new mutation on the old long lost grandchild scam.  You can read an article about how that scam works from the perspective of the scammer here.  Sadly, some other members of the list serve community reported a couple instances of this one when it worked successfully, relieving the loving grandparent of a sum of money.  One such scam was traced to a caller in the Ukraine!  If it sounds like it might never happen to an elder you know, think again – these folks are quite sophisticated.

This is an introduction to some news that I recently read about our neighbors in the UK: Dementia is the leading cause of death in England and Wales.  Read the BBC News article here.

This means that as other health challenges are effectively managed throughout one’s old age, dementia remains in the background so to speak, a silent killer.  It’s no surprise that the bulk of these dementia deaths were of women, as women tend to have a longer life span than men.  What I thought was particularly interesting was this figure: Dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease, accounted for 15.2% of all female deaths, up from 13.4% in 2014.  Is this due to more effective means of diagnosing Alzheimer’s (which ordinarily must be done with a brain autopsy or at least a slice of that organ’s tissue to identify those amyloid plaques)? Or is it due to an actual rise in the number of persons afflicted with the disease, as demonstrated in the graph in the article which shows it steadily overtaking heart disease since 2012?

Dementia is a leading side effect if you will – of our longevity.  This news doesn’t just impact our health and longevity of course, factors mightily in the need for further raising the awareness of elder abuse.  Folks with dementia are likely to be victims of some form of elder abuse, neglect or exploitation.   The burden on the rest of us to be able to detect elder abuse is crucial to our collective well-being.  The community plays a foremost role in the detection of elder abuse in its many forms and so community members – through meals on wheels volunteer, peers at a community center or members of a faith community, can play a major part in this effort.  I don’t want to minimize the importance of prevention, but I think our awareness needs to focus first on the detection of the myriad forms of elder abuse.

My introduction to this post was about a scam by someone posing as a person assisting a grandchild – but most of the reported cases do not involve “stranger danger” as it is called in the child welfare context.  Sadly, when the abuser or exploiter is an adult child or other family member (as the vast majority of such cases appear to be) the elder is faced with a difficult choice indeed because their ability to be maintained in their own home is severely compromised.  We have some battered women’s shelters, but no emergency housing for abused elders.   We simply must be able to move forward with the development of services for at risk elders and design some kind of basic architecture of supportive services.  Right now, everything is dependent on where an elder lives.   How many community resources there are largely depends on local and state funding because whether the detection resources, such as law enforcement and adult protection services, are adequately informed to detect elder abuse – makes a huge difference.

Here’s a link to a very informative program from Nashville Public Television.  Especially as we tout “aging in place” as the best kind of living arrangements for most elders, we must face what that can mean for them and the risks it can pose.  We must respond to this call for being present to our elder community members!  I will write more about what looks to most of us to be a challenging landscape of familial relations and unfamiliar ethical territory.

© Barbara E. Cashman 2016   www.DenverElderLaw.org